Wednesday, October 24, 2012

He took my son





The news arrived while we were at a dinner gathering of students and  teachers to honour a school teacher visiting our city after more than 40 years.  Our happy reminiscing was rudely interrupted by a tragic announcement.  Our dear friend from school, Pastor Smokey James had just lost his 17 year young son Judah in a drowning accident.

I was angry with myself for being so slow to feel Smokey and Patricia's anguish. I suppose when confronted by an unimaginable situation our minds often go numb and fails us.  For a while I continued with the evening as if I never even heard the disastrous news.

As realization of the gravity of the situation dawned on me I suddenly felt suffocated by the celebrations of my schoolmates. I had to flee from there.

It was too late to call anyone to confirm the sad news. Several messages from common friends in the morning reconfirmed what my heart already knew.

Maybe God  had other duties and plans  for Judah. This Judah sensed, because he wrote this poem a month before he was recalled.

If you don’t wanna live your life alone
Try Jesus who will hit you like a cyclone…..
When His light in you has shone
You won’t even have time to mourn!...….

Judah  in spite of being a good swimmer and had been dragged downstream by the angry river from Islampur. After a massive hunt they discovered his lifeless body late in the morning.  The phone lines were abuzz seeking information on the funeral preparations and timings.

What could I and for that matter any of us do, His will is final and all we can do is accept it?   It was past 8:00 pm when the devastated family arrived in Pune  and the funeral held. 

I arrived at the cemetery just after the burial. As I hurried towards the gathering some people told me " You are late, you might as well go back".

Late for what? None of us could do anything for Judah, but we could share Smokey and Patricia's sorrow. I wondered how is it that we have become so preoccupied with ceremony that we are blind to truth and devoid of compassion?

Do we care not for the living, who will have to survive this great loss?  It is they that need our comfort and not the corpse which lay lifeless before us.

My heart and mind were in turmoil. I felt a mixture of confusion, sadness, and anger. 
This only increased as I stood in a rather long line of mourners and watching various people who had come.

My gaze turned to the attendees  many who had come from afar who were milling around indulging in social intercourse, while a few prayed. 

The majority just waited their turn and tried to  comfort Smokey the only way they knew. A long face, a handshake or a hug, mutter a few  words of consolation and then leave. I could not but believe that each mourner only further tormented the grievously wounded soul.

When my turn came I simply hugged Smokey. When you love someone, words become somewhat unnecessary. He began to sob and softly said in a voice filled with shock and overflowing with sadness said, "He took my son,   …  He took my son".

A minute which seemed an hour we spent in embrace, I felt I was able to take away some of his pain. However so terrible was the tragedy for Smokey that grief filled his heart almost instantaneously when the next person met him.

Filled with sadness for my friend and what he and the family would have to endure their whole lives I sat with Deepak another classmate. I observed that barely had many mourners turned to leave they returned to their normal lives, seemingly almost untouched by this tragedy.

Many a funeral I have attended and am always puzzled by the effortless and immediate transition from mourning to normal life. Maybe we have become mere mask wearers.

How could people be untouched by a  tragedy of this magnitude, and to a person so close to us? It made me realise once again how fragile  life is and the insignificance of man in the scheme of this universe and how trivial our pursuit of things.

I left after a while noting that many people appeared undisturbed. This is a quality possessed by great souls that  gracefully accept God's will, and who were beyond feelings of life and death. Or is it a reflection of a society which increasingly fakes everything, even sincerity.


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

You have to break your heart




Spiritual quotes by - Jalal ud Din Mohammad Rumi 




You have to keep breaking your heart, until it opens.

______________________
His epitaph -
When we are dead, seek not our tomb in the earth,
but find it in the hearts of men.

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I died as a mineral and became a plant,

I died as plant and rose to animal,

I died as animal and I was Man.

Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?

Yet once more I shall die as Man, to soar with angels blessed. 

But even from angel-hood I must pass on.  All except God doth perish.

When I have sacrificed my angel-soul,  I shall become what no mind ever conceived.

Oh, let me not exist! for Non-existence proclaims in organ tones,

To Him we shall return.

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Wandering for four years looking for his teacher and guide Shams e Tabrizi who simply disappeared Rumi one day said,

"Why should I seek? I am the same as He. 
His essence speaks through me.
I have been looking for myself!"
- Jalal ud Din Mohammad Rumi 
__________________________

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
___________________________




"Raise your words, not voice. 


It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder…"

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“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be 
polished?”




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“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”




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“The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They're in each other all along.”
                       
                                     - RumiThe Illuminated Rumi
______________________________________



“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”

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“What you seek is seeking you.”


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“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
                                                               
 ______________________________________


“Don’t grieve. 

Anything you lose comes round in another form.”



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“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”

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“My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.”

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“Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. 

Unfold your own myth.”

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“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

_____________________________________



“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”


______________________________________


“This being human is a guest house. 
Every morning is a new arrival. 
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor...
Welcome and entertain them all. 
Treat each guest honourably. 
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. 
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” 



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“People want you to be happy.

Don't keep serving them your pain!



______________________________________





“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth, "You owe me."

Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky.”


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“Words are a pretext. 

It's the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.”
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“Two there are who are never satisfied -

             - the lover of the world and the lover of knowledge.” 
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“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons.

Knocking on a door, it opens.

I've been knocking from the inside.” 



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“Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.”

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“Who could be so lucky? 
Who comes to a lake for water and sees the reflection of moon.” 


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“I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.” 


______________________________________


“And you? 

When will you begin that long journey into yourself?” 

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“Only from the heart can you touch the sky.” 

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“They say there is a doorway from heart to heart, but what is 

the use of a door when there are no walls?” 

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“Not only the thirsty seek the water, 

               the water as well seeks the thirsty.” 



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“When someone beats a rug,

the blows are not against the rug,

but against the dust in it.” 


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“There are lovers content with longing.

I’m not one of them.” 


______________________________________


“If in thirst you drink water from a cup, you see God in it. 

Those who are not in love with God will see only their own faces in it.” 


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“Respond to every call that excites your spirit.”  ______________________________________





“You were born with potential.


You were born with goodness and trust. 

You were born with ideals and dreams. 

You were born with greatness


You were born with wings.


You are not meant for crawling, so don't.

You have wings.

Learn to use them and fly.” 
____________________________